Celebrate The Kim Jong Il In All of Us
Ever have the feeling that things aren't going quite according to plan? Come on, admit it. We all have that feeling sometime. You're at the ATM to get twenty bucks, and you get the "insufficient funds" alert. You see flashing lights behind you and realize that you're thrity over the speed limit. You get your midterm grade back and realize you were the dead lowest grade in the class. Or maybe you realize that you locked your key in the car without having prepared a spare. I mean, I can't say it happens to the best of us, but it certainly happens to some of us.
And I know that sometimes I've had the impulse to do the most ridiculous thing possible: at the ATM, instead of putting my card back in my wallet, I hold out my hands waiting for my imaginary cash to come out. Or as the cop asks for my license and registration, I thank him for not giving me a ticket and drive away. Or getting my worthless exam grade back, I pretend it was the highest and invite my friends all out for beers in my honor. Or at the car, instead of phoning the police, I smile, shove my house keys into the lock and turn.
Of course, I'd never really do that, because I knew it wouldn't work and I'd end up in a lot of trouble. But for some reason I must admit that I've briefly felt the desire for nature and circumstance to just bend over backwards for me and do what I say. It's not that I felt it would, but I was just briefly frustrated that it didn't.
Then I realized this is what Kim Jong Il must feel like. I mean, his freaking missle fell into the Pacific Ocean to sleep with the fish. Yet he can stand up in Happyland and tell people that it didn't--it's actually orbiting the Earth at such-and-such an angle and pitch, etc. It sure takes all the stress out of failure--who cares if it actually works, so long as they think it works? And sure, I can go the ATM, take my imaginary cash and go try to buy a latte. If I were Kim Jong Il, I'd be able to pay with my make-believe money, because I'd be able to tell what is money and what isn't. I mean, who's to say that he's wrong? A bunch of scientists? What do they know? They're dead anyway.
And I know that sometimes I've had the impulse to do the most ridiculous thing possible: at the ATM, instead of putting my card back in my wallet, I hold out my hands waiting for my imaginary cash to come out. Or as the cop asks for my license and registration, I thank him for not giving me a ticket and drive away. Or getting my worthless exam grade back, I pretend it was the highest and invite my friends all out for beers in my honor. Or at the car, instead of phoning the police, I smile, shove my house keys into the lock and turn.
Of course, I'd never really do that, because I knew it wouldn't work and I'd end up in a lot of trouble. But for some reason I must admit that I've briefly felt the desire for nature and circumstance to just bend over backwards for me and do what I say. It's not that I felt it would, but I was just briefly frustrated that it didn't.
Then I realized this is what Kim Jong Il must feel like. I mean, his freaking missle fell into the Pacific Ocean to sleep with the fish. Yet he can stand up in Happyland and tell people that it didn't--it's actually orbiting the Earth at such-and-such an angle and pitch, etc. It sure takes all the stress out of failure--who cares if it actually works, so long as they think it works? And sure, I can go the ATM, take my imaginary cash and go try to buy a latte. If I were Kim Jong Il, I'd be able to pay with my make-believe money, because I'd be able to tell what is money and what isn't. I mean, who's to say that he's wrong? A bunch of scientists? What do they know? They're dead anyway.
posted by Thăng-Long at 10:09 PM
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